Plant a seed, watch it grow...

The other night our oldest nephew came into our bedroom to show us a paper that came in the mail. It was a letter from UH Manoa saying he was officially and fully admitted, and ready to register in about 10 days. He was very proud of this, and he should be (and so are my wife and I). You see when he came to live with us, just before his 14^th birthday, he was not the kind of kid who you would think would be headed to college. In fact you may even have doubted he would graduate high school. And if you were him…in a moment or rare vulnerability he revealed, you would have thought he would never have lived to see his high school graduation. The why and what happened are private…but let’s just say he was not headed in a good direction.

So what happened? He made a decision to change the course of his life. It was all from HIM. He did it all on his own. What was different? My wife and I gave him something his life has lacked, and that was stability. A home he would always be able to go back to, a fridge with (real) food that did not go empty, and an environment with positive values and goals. You see I believe that those “troubled kids” are often that way because they don’t have an opportunity to make better choices. Nature vs. Nurture? That’s a long standing debate, for me it’s clear, given a shot at better circumstances those kids can & will begin to make better choices. When a kid has a bed of his own, food in his belly, and no worries about “bad guys” coming in the night, he can worry about grades. He can worry about a future. He can worry about what people think of him. He can dream, he can achieve, he can grow, and he can prosper.

I don’t deny that my wife and I have helped…but I’m telling you, nothing would have happened without him deciding to do it.

I was especially proud of him when I saw the letter from the university. I always thought he had the brains to get there, and I also thought that he wanted to go. What was important to me is that he did it himself. There were bumps with paperwork & other financial aide things and he handled them himself. Once was a time were he would cave at the first sign of difficulty. Not here, not now. The self esteem and self belief that he deserved to make a better life drove him to overcome. From “I don’t give a sh*t” to “I can do it”. If that isn’t growth, I don’t know what is.

Catching Up...

It's been a long time since I last posted and I thought I had better do so now or I may never get back to it. So here I is...

The black cloud of the Hawaiian economy has really put a pinch and a small panic on my little corner of it. I'm having to do things I never had to before, and I'm trying new things to keep things positive. Challenges, challenges, but we are hanging in there.

A former co-worker's (ex?) boyfriend left a rambling in comprehensible message on the phone system. Was it venting or a threat? Who could tell? Drugs are sooooo f*cking glamorous...

The battle of the bulge has been a real mother...just as I was getting back on track...I came down with bursitis in my knee. I am impatient as hell waiting for it to heal, especially as it seems to have triggered a hunger I haven't had in a long, long time.

I've brewed two more beers since last time. A Imperial India Pale Ale (featured at twobeerqueers.com) and a simple pale ale. After the high gravity hop bomb of the IIPA I thought a more sessionable pale ale made sense. Next up will be a Belgian Wit beer or a robust porter with some chocolate & coconut additions. The pale ale will be aged by the 18th of August and the IIPA will be ready on Sept 2, just in time for the UH home opener vs. USC. I tasted the IIPA after a month of bottle conditioning and it was VERY promising. If the flavor stays the same and it just smooths out...it may well end up replacing the hefe as my favorite beer I've made...stay tuned.

My son finished pre-school on Friday, and he begins the entry to Kindergarten on Tuesday. His only school time this week is a few hours on Tuesday. Then next week he'll be there on Tuesday & Wednesday for half days before finally having a full day on Thursday. Since he is no longer enrolled in pre-school, we do not have day care. So what do I do? I will be taking him to work with me for most on the next week and a half (as well as missing a bunch of work)...ugh. Thank God this is only for Kindergarten...if every school year started like this...yikes!

Our older nephew starts at UH Manoa in a couple weeks. It's gonna be a real shock to him, especially as he's done a lifetime of "having fun" this summer. Hope the memories last because he's about to learn the real meaning of work (he has no earthly idea!). His brother can't have him gone soon enough since it means he moves into his brother's room (after sharing a room with our son for 3 years).

I am waaaaaay too focused on my November vacation. Can't help it...I'm ready for a break from the constant stress and demands on me. Can't we go next week instead?

Stream of blah-ciousness

I haven’t posted in a while. Been busy as usual, and didn’t have a theme to really sink my teeth into. But in the interest of keeping things going and perhaps inspiring a flood of posts after this…I present a stream of consciousness.

• Once upon a time I did stand up comedy. This was before Seinfeld, when dinosaurs roamed the earth. I quickly discovered that although I could write comedy, performing it was another matter entirely. I quit after about a year and a half. Did plenty of shows, but never got to the part where it began to pay. Now I have the urge to write comedy again. I have no desire to perform (although I think I could do it better today than then), but I would like to write. Maybe I can use this space for some of that…hmmmmmm?
• I have a new hobby, home brewing. I like beer, craft beer, high quality beer, not the stuff you buy in 30 paks of cans from 7-11. I mean expensive beer snob beers that come from breweries that even we beer snobs never heard of. So the next step was to brew my own. Armed with my $150 starter kit I brewed my first batch, a pale ale. It took a ½ day to cook up, 3 weeks to ferment, and 4 weeks of bottle conditioning before it was ready to share. That last part explains my motivation. The biggest kick of home brewing is the feedback you get from those you share it with. I’ve since brewed two more batches, a dark brown ale that’s bottle conditioning right now (ready to drink for 4^th of July). And a hefeweizen that I cooked up this weekend and is in primary fermentation. I’ve already decided that batch 4 will be an IPA, even though I’m not a huge fan of IPAs. As hobbies go it’s not too expensive. My out of pocket cost for a 5 gallon batch is about $45 for ingredients & energy costs (lots of time on the gas stove). The next step would be to try all grain brewing. That would require a bunch of new equipment, and a greater time investment. For now I’ll be content to be the best extract brewer I can be.
• I am thoroughly distracted by thoughts of my vacation that will not happen until November. I-am-torturing-myself! Maybe the solution is to take some time off during the dog days of summer. I could use it to see a movie without talking animals (ask any parent of a young child), go to the gym, and get reacquainted with my long suffering mountain bike. And nap, take lots of naps…
• LOST ends this Sunday. My Wife and I have watched this show from the beginning. Before the house was over run with boys, we would sit in the living room with our dinner of kraut dogs and ponder the many mysteries & puzzles that made up this show. But after Sunday it will be all over. So now I’m on the hunt for a new favorite show. And I had better find one soon, and it better be one my Wife can enjoy too because I am driving her up the wall with all the Top Gear reruns on the DVR.

Lose It! Update

After about 5 weeks using Lose It! my weight loss as of this morning is: 12 pounds. I've adjusted my daily calories allowed downward twice and I think I'm at a level that works for me. More later...

I'm a Dad

This week we celebrated the 18th birthday of our “Nephew”. Technically he is our Foster Child. My wife has known him and his family since he was born, I only for the last 7 years. Four years ago, on Easter Sunday he moved in with us. The circumstances are not something to air out here, but let’s just say things reached a point that his safety was in danger and he needed somewhere to go. We contacted CPS, and started the whole process of becoming his permanent legal guardians. The alternative would have been the Foster Care system, but would have meant being with yet more strangers. At least this way he was with his Aunty he had always known. He was one of these good natured kids that had been put into a bad situation, left with little to no guidance or discipline, and as you can bet he fell in with some not too good for him kids. It was never all easy or all hard. We really gave him the chance to be the kinda person he was at his core, but we also were there to rein him in when those not so good impulses came calling. He went from Special Ed & failing grades to the Honor Roll and the rank of Officer in NJROTC. He was accepted to UH Manoa and will be studying Japanese in the fall. At his birthday dinner we presented him his class ring. He was so surprised to get it. He had designed it, and turned in the order & deposit, but figured it would be a nice dream and the beginning of another broken promise like so many before. Although that ring represented his work in school and his coming graduation, in it I believe, he saw the opportunity that came with moving in with our family. And it hit him, emotions…gratitude for what he’s been given, remorse for putting us through the usual teenage trials, and finally happiness that things worked out the way they had.

He’ll be staying with us until the Fall when he moves into the dorm at UH. His younger brother (who moved in with us 3 years ago) will take his room for his own, no doubt a relief, since he’s been sharing a typically small bedroom with our 4 year old son. Although he’ll be at school and his brother occupying “his” room, there will no doubt be a messy pile of stuff in the corner to remind us he’s part of the household too.

Our legal commitment to him is over, but as I told him, I regard him as my son as much as any of our boys, and always will (cue the theme for 60’s TV show My Three Sons).

His younger brother and I also had a great heart to heart talk about school, girls, & friends. He is often the closed book “I don’t know” type. This time he opened up. I shut up & listened. And I think he realized that Uncle isn’t the fire breathing dragon he always though I was. I’m hoping the communication stays more open like this.

And finally, my son, 4 ½. The other morning as we were getting ready for work & school. He grabs me and gives me a hug and says “Daddy, you’re my best-est friend”. I thanked him and asked “But what about Mommy?” He said “oh yeah, Mommy too”. I than asked the same about his two cousins and Tutu, and he proclaimed them his “best-est friends” too. Then I asked if our dog Lani-Girl was one too and he said “ahhh, noooo”. So I’m happy to know I out rank the dog.

Go read this now

Look to the left, there are links there to pages I think are worth a look. One in particular is really on a burn lately and should be required reading for music fans. So stop reading this, click on this and get schooled by the awesomeness that is Darren on He's A Whore.

Aloha Friday Recommendation

Lose it! App for iPhone & iPod Touch

Quiz time. What fits in your pocket, has a powerful database, and can help you loose the weight you’ve fought so hard to loose? It’s an app called “Lose it!”. Not only is it easy to use and effective, but it’s also free!

I’m half way though a weight loss fight for life, and I plateaued a while back and couldn’t get back to losing weight again. I tried a bunch of strategies to no avail. I even got so discouraged I back slid for a while. Then I was reminded of “food journaling”. You think you are watching how much you eat? Really? Write it all down (honestly) and you’ll be surprised. I could never get myself to keep a food journal…just not a way that worked for me, writing in a notebook. Then I stumbled upon this app. The price was right (free) so I gave it a try. You start by inputing some information like your age, weight, height, and target weight. It calculates your allowed calories based on your weight loss goal. My iPod Touch is my constant companion, and this allowed me to keep the daily notations of food & exercise. In fact, seeing how daily calories are calculated (and reduced by exercise) made me more mindful of getting in my workouts. I found myself getting to the gym and avoiding those extra snacks, all in the name of keeping the daily calorie counts on target. So after two weeks here’s my result…a 5.4 pound weight loss. Plateau no more! I’m on the right track now. I can not recommend this weight loss tool any more highly. Want help losing weight? Get this now.